1.1 PARENTS: pushing you to study something you don’t like

My parents are pushing me to study something I don’t even like

 

Know this to be true:

  • They are trying to make sure you have a solid educational foundation
  • In some cultures, the responsibility is for you to look after your parents as they age. It, therefore, makes sense that some parents are making sure you have a job which will allow you to do that
  • They think this subject will do that for you. Try speaking to them first
  • If they don’t want to support the change and are footing the bill then suck it up and do the best you can at the subject, even though you don’t like it
  • It may seem like a total waste of time but it isn’t! Most employers look to see what you have studied and check to see if you completed the studies – they want to know if you have what it takes to stick things out
  • You don’t have to do what you studied in college in your “real” life.
  • It is a bit like cleaning your teeth not fun but necessary!

 

Some stories I have heard:

My own: 

I am sure that my mother meant well when she insisted (a) I should not go to college – she had some, dysfunctional reasoning that college was where they trained Communism, (b) that I go to secretarial college instead! Please notice the word college in both! I was serious sports child – first team everything, both summer and winter sports, an avid rider with my own horses. I was also big into drama (I can hear people who know me, personally, groaning and saying “… that explains a lot!”). So to send me off to Secretarial College where I would need to sit still all day and also, and this was the worst, keep my mouth shut all day, was not my idea of fun. I have a host of stories about my time there and it was actually where I learned that rules were meant to be learned so that they could be “changed”, when necessary! I also learned there that if you involve people in a dream they will help you achieve it. If anyone would like to hear that story (it’s a romantic one) leave a comment at the bottom of the page!). In my case, I hated doing the work but learned two valuable lessons for the rest of my life.

Accounting vs fashion:

I have one wonderful client who was pushed into doing accounting because it would get her a good job. She really is big into fashion and she has spent too much of her time trying to balance the two.

 

Finance vs creativity:

Another client of mine was pushed into doing finance. Only problem is that he is a creative soul. He feels huge guilt that he wants to do the opposite of what his parents spent so much money training him to do.

 

I will leave a word or two about this problem on my page about parents in the hope that some parents read their piece of the page and get this message: Sure you want to protect your child by giving them a good (in your eyes) education. Some would be far happier in their lives if you just let them follow their heart and soul.