Sharing our pain…

“What’s the point of complaining about your tragedies, obstacles, and scars?
What’s the point of playing the role of victim?
What’s the point of revealing your misery to others no matter how close they are?
No one will ever feel your pain or how much it hurts. No one will understand your fears or why you suddenly couldn’t hold on anymore.
It’s your road, you’ve walked it barefoot among all the difficulties! I am sure too that you know your way, and your heart will guide you to the best destination if you only trust the light within…”
― Samiha Totanji

I am a great believer in a good vent. When you are frustrated, overwhelmed or in emotional pain. Make it short and sweet. Make sure the person you are about to vent to knows you don’t need to “fix” anything. You just need to get some of the internal stress out into the open.

Make sure that your vent does not become a major whine session. One of our viewers has a rule: 10 mins max. After that, you need to change the subject. It is a great rule.

Our family and friends are not in our lives to fix things. They are there to support us in our journey. They should not be expected to make decisions for us. Only YOU can make decisions for your own life. People are there to give input and options. You make decisions based on the input you get. To ask your family or friends to make decisions for you or to take the next step for you is not adult behaviour, unless you are under their care due to diminished capacity.

53. You are in the right place… at the right time!

I receive a lot of emails from viewers of our YouTube channel and one thing that I need to repeat, time and time again, is that you ARE in the right place and the right time.


Perhaps the most worrying this week was knowing that Coco, who is part of our TinyChat broadcast community,  had travelling to Oklahoma with her two sons just in time for the tornado. It took 24 hours to find out that she and the boys were safe but, with her usual up-beat attitude, she said it was good for the boys to learn what Oklahoma was really like. They are considering moving there.


Life brings us challenges and lessons. Sometimes we “get it” and sometimes we need to repeat the challenge or lesson until we “get it”. I am going through challenges at the moment – luckily they are not serious. I did not want to hear that my blood pressure was way too high and I know what caused it and what continues to push it up. I have taken some steps to reduce my stress.


I have to be grateful that we live in a time when medications are available to balance out things like blood pressure. However, one of the realities in my life is that I am now getting older and not able to do all the things I used to be able to do. I do a lot, don’t get me wrong! I just cannot do it all any more. A case in point was taking down the kitchen cupboard doors and repainting the first batch. I had not realized that, with arthritis, it was impossible for me to put them back on my own. It is almost impossible to lift, hold and level a cupboard door while holding a drill and screw…when you have arthritis. Actually, it made me wonder how I used to do it without.


The blessing in this is that one of my friends, Yvonne, noted that I had painted the doors but had not put them back up and she worked out why. She knows me well enough to know that asking for help is difficult for me. I have been self-sufficient for so many years.


I am really happy that I decided to take the time to repaint my kitchen cupboards while I save up the money to do a revamp of my kitchen. It has really brightened up the room. It is truly amazing what a difference a coat of paint and a some new hinges can do.

old cupboards

Old dishwasher & cupboards

new cupboards2.1

New dishwasher & paint job


YouTube Upate – Week 38

Subscribers             2693
Views                       69,513 from 136 countries
Blog views               3,834
Non-Smoking Days  131 –   saving of $1,401.08

Lessons learned: Learning to ask for help will help me get things done more quickly!



48. One thing at a time, PLEASE! March 28, 2013

I am at home, sick with some virus that last week attacked my stomach and this week decided to hit my glands and, possibly, my kidneys. Fun stuff. You can imagine I am not feeling too switft with the swollen legs (edema) and the excessive saliva production and did I mention my blood pressure went haywire as well?


Imagine my delight when I just found a huge filling had worked loose on one of my molars. It is true that I have a great sense of humour but this is now lunchtime and I cannot find out if my test results are back or if I can make an appointment with my dentist today – before the nerves start flaring and I end up with severe toothache for Easter!


Please grant me patience to get these things dealt with in the right order and with minimum discomfort.

 YouTube Upate – Week 30

Subscribers               2409
Views                        55,9752 from 131 countries
Blog views                3,682
Non Smoking Days     76

Lessons learned: It is difficult to stay home (to rest the body) when you know the bills need to get paid and you have used up your “sick” days.


45. How do I thank you all? Even the weirdos with fetishes!!

It has been a magical week. We hit 50,000 views from 131 countries and now I am in the awe-struck stage. Who would have “thunk” it?! I came on to YouTube to, hopefully, help a few people. I never dreamed that people from 131 countries would come and visit.


My favourite day of the week was Monday when these beautiful flowers arrived from Benji, Judy and Julianna to congratulate me on becoming a Canadian and also to congratulate me on the stop smoking progress. Aren’t they just too beautiful for words? I brought them home this evening. They have spent the week at work bringing smiles,” ooohs and aahs”, pangs of jealousy, and other emotions to so many people. 


I received a great quote this week but I have no idea where the quote came from so I will give my version of it rather than infringe a copyright. Live a life that matters… every day. It doesn’t matter what you have but rather what you gave. It doesn’t matter what you learned but rather what you taught. Get the idea?


It is really strange how many people have been writing to me about the non-smoking thing. I got an email early this morning thanking me and telling me I was an inspiration. This person saw me strong and courageous. Yet, as I read another email from the same person I found out that they are really sick. Terminal, in fact. They are so in awe of the fact that I created my own “family” in my life. My personal support team. My Cheerleaders. They so desperately wanted that. I explained that that was the very reason I started DearMamaSal – to provide that extended family feel for those who needed it.


I love the “Our Pets” page! If you haven’t checked it out … do so, it is bound to make you smile at least once! During one of our BlogTV sessions someone suggested that we might want to have a “Movies we have enjoyed” page as well. Let me know if you would like that or send your input to and I will start the page and see how people react to it. Don’t feel you have to send us the intelligent recommendations… send the truth! The movies you enjoyed. Not the ones the critics thought you should enjoy!


Another week and more leaning. I just find it so hard to thank everyone who made these milestones possible. Big hugs to you all.

YouTube Channel Update – Week 27

Subscribers  2435
Views            53,241 from 131 countries
Blog views   3655

Lessons learned: There are strange people in the world… I put up a vid on how I keep my nails so long, white and beautiful and the weirdos (with fetishes) came out and contacted me. Not something I expected at 65!!! hehehehe






34. As we enter the 12th week of DearMamaSal…

It’s so hard to believe that I have been doing this YouTube channel and blog for nearly 3 months now.

What started as a spur-of-the-moment action, following the requests of Benji and Judy’s audience, has taken on a life of its own. For my part, I have learned so much about editing, uploading and vlogging. The whole process has become part of my day and this week was the first week that I managed to put up at least one video a day. 

I still am confused about certain aspects of YouTube but, with patience, I am sure it will all make sense. This month I had a lot of learning around the Google Drive feature of putting up forms that the viewers can fill in. What I love about it is the great analysis they do of the results. Love those things! 

The emotional roller-coaster of thinking my new kitchen appliances were going to arrive during the week was difficult. I could not believe how excited I got at the prospect of a totally matching set of appliances. It is strange to know that, in my lifetime, I have never had a totally matching set! I have always just replaced the one that failed. To counter the disappointment of the delay until this Thursday, I YouTube’d just about every video about the new appliances and that was fun. I also checked out the manuals of some of them. What did we do before the internet and Google?! It is just so easy to find these things today.

I had a long and difficult talk to the vet about Beaner and know that he will continue to deteriorate. It is so sad to know that he has no chance of healing from his condition. That all I can do is to manage his pain. He is still a youngish dog. Just 9 years old. He has responded well to the upping of his medication but still it is troubling to watch how he has so much more difficulty. Mind you, it doesn’t seem to stem his desire to jump on my bed at night and hog my leg room! I can just see that it is not easy for him to do. Apparently, his motivation to do so is greater than the discomfort.

To take our Balance Survey:

To take our Procrastination Challenge:

To watch the astonishing transformation of Beaner from abandoned to adored:

YouTube Channel Update – Week 11
Subscribers  1252
Views          17,803 from 111 countries
Blog views   1553

Lesson learned: How to put two audio tracks onto a video

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If you want to leave a comment, click below