help

Sharing our pain…

“What’s the point of complaining about your tragedies, obstacles, and scars?
What’s the point of playing the role of victim?
What’s the point of revealing your misery to others no matter how close they are?
No one will ever feel your pain or how much it hurts. No one will understand your fears or why you suddenly couldn’t hold on anymore.
It’s your road, you’ve walked it barefoot among all the difficulties! I am sure too that you know your way, and your heart will guide you to the best destination if you only trust the light within…”
― Samiha Totanji

I am a great believer in a good vent. When you are frustrated, overwhelmed or in emotional pain. Make it short and sweet. Make sure the person you are about to vent to knows you don’t need to “fix” anything. You just need to get some of the internal stress out into the open.

Make sure that your vent does not become a major whine session. One of our viewers has a rule: 10 mins max. After that, you need to change the subject. It is a great rule.

Our family and friends are not in our lives to fix things. They are there to support us in our journey. They should not be expected to make decisions for us. Only YOU can make decisions for your own life. People are there to give input and options. You make decisions based on the input you get. To ask your family or friends to make decisions for you or to take the next step for you is not adult behaviour, unless you are under their care due to diminished capacity.

60. With apologies

I know, it’s been a while since I wrote and I hate excuses as much as you do!

So I am not going to waste your time with excuses – I will just apologize to those of you who enjoy the written word as much as the vlogs. In the past couple of months I have done a lot of learning and a lot of looking at the world around me. As usual, I have come out of the time stronger than before. I have learned that people can just drop you in a heartbeat when it suits them, others can give you hours of unexpected time, some can hit incredibly hard times and still have a sense of humour.

I learned that one viewer visiting the broadcast can give us a great idea but if I do nothing with it it is just that… an idea. I am going to start our Free Bay page today! Free Bay is for viewers who have a sense of humour/humor and a post office box. Put your screen name and your post office box address (no real names) and then put what you would like to “collect” from fellow viewers. We have heard about fridge magnets, key rings, wines, cheeses and, of course, licorice!! To name just a few things that made us smile. We just thought it would be a fun thing to be able to send someone a ‘gift’

I have learned that even my hard-working camera can give up the ghost and die on me. When I thought of how many hours it had given me over the past year I cannot say I was surprised. I also didn’t feel like it was a lessor product. In fact, I bought the upgrade of my previous camera. It was fun to use and gave me a lot of good vids. I reward good behaviour! Even if the product dies of hard work. Pity it did it the month after the warranty ran out.

I always knew that the fall and winter would be harder on dear BeanBean. He is struggling a little more and I have had to increase his meds to compensate. It is a heartbreaking thing to do because each time I increase it I am equally lessening his time with me for there is a limit to how much I can give him. I am up to close to 3/4 of his total allocation, based on his weight. I am hoping that this dosage will hold him over the fall and winter because, if it does, then we might be able to stay together for  another year. Obviously, if I have to keep increasing it over the winter we will be running out of time together. So sad. We have come so far.

We have seen some wonderful growth from various members of the broadcast club. Lesley overcame her fear of the outside world enough to walk down her garden and close the gate. She looked over the fence and gave us the greatest smile! Roseann showed us a rare moment of total vulnerability as she struggled with a diagnosis of glaucoma over and above everything else she copes with every day. Jen is just weeks away from being married and found that the ability to make decision suddenly was missing.

I sit in awe of how this group of people have supported one another. How they, through their support of others, have grown. They have new understanding of each other, of their previous judgments and their coping skills. We are beginning to have a lot of people visit the broadcasts and thanking us for the positive contribution we are making.

For my part, I am amazed at how much difference we can make in our little world. One person at a time. We know people are paying it forward. We hear the stories.

 

YouTube Update – Week 60

Subscribers             3,882
Views                        126,698 from 171 countries
Blog views                7318
Non-Smoking Days    282 with a saving of $3,017.47



47. How to get to the new DearMamaSal broadcasts

This weekend we will stop using BlogTV and move our broadcasts to TinyChat. BlogTV was sold and we do not like the way that the site they are steering us towards (a) forces you to use your Facebook contacts and (b) makes you vote to keep someone on the air – imagine trying to help someone with a serious issue and suddenly getting booted because we were not trying to create LIKES? No, not the sort of thing we can work with.

 

We looked at a number of different platforms and, at the moment, TinyChat seems to work best for us. We are not beyond making another change – if we find something that is even better for us! We did some testing. Huge thanks to Re97 for the suggestion and to Jen for the hours she spent on line helping to get us comfortable with the new system. Also thanks to Katie, Nana, Em, Becca, AussiePIMP,  Laura and Lori (and anyone else I have, regrettably, possibly forgotten!) for joining in on our first (test) broadcast.

 

This is how it works. First, you go to http://tinychat.com/dearmamasal – it takes you directly to our page.

You will see a form. Here is what to do with it:

tinychat
1. Click on GUEST (not Facebook or Twitter)
2. Add the name we know you by or, if you are new, the name you would like to be known by
3. Press GO

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was wonderful to see Lori up on the screen and, gosh, how much fun was it to have 8 vids up at the same time?!! Jen was just in her element taking every question that required any research and, in a heartbeat, coming back with an answer! It became almost comical to watch her eyes react to “a need” and then watch them as she, obviously, multi-tasked to the answer. If ever you wanted to study body language this is the place to go!!

 

Huge congratulations go to Katie and our new friend Re97 (Roseann) who were discussing fibromyalgia, spina bifida, and other chronic pain issues. Being who we are, we could see a magical opportunity here! We challenged them to take their (collective) knowledge – one deals with the pain on meds; the other holistically – and start a page to help others in pain. It took them hours, not days/weeks/years to take that little seed and plant it!!! Here is there link: https://www.facebook.com/ExistingWithPain. Don’t you love what a difference we can make?

YouTube Channel Update – Week 30

Subscribers               2408
Views                        55,532 from 131 countries
Blog views                3,679
Non Smoking Days     70

Lessons learned: Asking for help is not always easy but it is almost always helpful and saves a lot of time!

Inspiration suggestion: Plant seeds in people – if they have a passion they will plant them and nurture them!

42. We made it to 6 months on YouTube!

40 days smoke free and 6 months of YouTube… two huge milestones of which I am equally proud.
Got a great call from Benji, Judy and little Julianna yesterday to check how I was doing with the non smoking. Benji and Judy are just so wonderful to care about how I am coping but they are also aware that, in previous attempts, have turned into devastating depressions for me where the medications turned out to be more dangerous than the smoke. I am working hard not to have a repeat of that self-defeating behavior.
I am balancing a lot of different balls – the shortened work week is helping me balance a little but is having a serious effect on my cash flow, the non smoking is a huge achievement but requires a great deal of daily awareness – I have to concentrate on this part of my life because I am aware that one slip could be dangerous.
I feel tired but strangely elated. A little scared, to be honest, of what the next 6 months will or will not bring. One of my fondest memories of the past 6 months has to be that very first night when, having helped me set up the YouTube site, Benji went home and left me with my new “baby”. The little “dings” of people visiting the site kept me up all night. It was such a great feeling.
I also remember with great appreciation every time we reached another 1,000 views. How exciting was that?! Then the “major” milestone of 10,000. Oh yes, that was so exciting to me! Then the 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45k. All amazing journeys. In the next couple of weeks we will hit 50k and move onto our first 100,000.
It is interesting to see the age distribution. We have evened out across the different age groups. However, it is the fact that we have been visited by 128 countries that was another mind blowing statistic. There have been a couple of interesting geography lessons along the way – remember the blog about “where in the world are the Northern Mariana Islands?” So funny. I still laugh when I remember that day!
Will I continue to have as much fun in the next 6 months? Only time will tell. If I continue to have the support of such great friends and viewers then I have no doubt. There have been so many “firsts” in the first six months that will have to grow in so many ways to create that many new “firsts”.
Bring it on! I am ready. Please remember to subscribe to this page as a lot of our updates will happen here now!
YouTube Channel Update – Week 26
Subscribers  2273
Views          48,578 from 128 countries
Blog views   3558

Lessons learned: 6 months flies by when you are having fun and learning. Hope the next 6 are just as much fun!! 🙂